- AWKWARD VISIT WITH SANTA PHOTO OF THE DAY
- HIDEOUS CHRISTMAS SWEATER PHOTO OF THE DAY
- HOLIDAY PHOTO OF THE DAY
- BIZARRE CHRISTMAS CARDS
- LETTERS TO SANTA
- PHOTOBOMBING
- GARDEN UPDATE
- 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
- FAUNA
- GARDEN GIGGLE
- FEEDBACK
AWKWARD VISIT WITH SANTA PHOTO OF THE DAY
HIDEOUS CHRISTMAS SWEATER PHOTO OF THE DAY
HOLIDAY ANIMAL PHOTO OF THE DAY
BIZARRE CHRISTMAS CARDS
LETTERS TO SANTA
Dear Santa,
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 5 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Timmy
Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.
Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus
------------------------------------------------------------
Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the "Naughty vs. Nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?
Respectfully,
Tim Jones
-------------------------------------------------------------
Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.
Very Truly Yours,
S Claus
---------------------------------------------------------------
Now look here Fat Man,
I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespectin' me. I'm about to tweet my homies and we're gonna be waiting for your fat butt and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!
T-Bone
---------------------------------------------------------------
Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your **** wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza rolls all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked
for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your butt and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.
S Clizzy
------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.
Timmy
------------------------------------------------------------------
Timmy,
That's what I thought.
Santa
Dear Santa,
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 5 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Timmy
Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.
Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus
------------------------------------------------------------
Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the "Naughty vs. Nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?
Respectfully,
Tim Jones
-------------------------------------------------------------
Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.
Very Truly Yours,
S Claus
---------------------------------------------------------------
Now look here Fat Man,
I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespectin' me. I'm about to tweet my homies and we're gonna be waiting for your fat butt and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!
T-Bone
---------------------------------------------------------------
Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your **** wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza rolls all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked
for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your butt and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.
S Clizzy
------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.
Timmy
------------------------------------------------------------------
Timmy,
That's what I thought.
Santa
GARDEN UPDATE
Cold, cold, cold....brrr! Record chill temps in the Southland.
12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS~DAY 7
ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, your true love gave to you - seven swans a swimming..six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
All of the swans have flown south for the winter, but here are some of the bubbles they used while they were swimming.
Cold, cold, cold....brrr! Record chill temps in the Southland.
12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS~DAY 7
ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, your true love gave to you - seven swans a swimming..six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
PHOTOBOMBING
GARDEN GIGGLE
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